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 Ronni
McLauglin Bio
My name is Ronni McLaughlin and I was born and
raised in Queens, New York. My parents were divorced
when I turned 12 because my father was an alcoholic.
My mom and I were close (and still are). I married
my teenage sweetheart and we are still happily
married after 29 years. We bought our first house in
Merrick, Long Island and had four children, Dan,
Brian, Kelly and Patrick. In 1992 we moved to
Wilton, CT and I felt blessed with a beautiful and
healthy family, a wonderful home and a safe suburban
environment. I was and am an active volunteer for
the Wilton Youth Council and PTA. I am now involved
in Compassionate Friends, The Courage to Speak
Foundation, Inc and Families Changing America.
Dan's Story:
Life was certainly hectic raising four children who
enjoyed being active in athletics. My husband, Bruce
and I would spend our weekends going to various
games and spending time with our children. During
the week they would go off to school and I would
make sure homework was done along with all the
multitude of chores raising a family. It wasn't
until Dan was in middle school that things started
to go astray. He would get into trouble in school
and had trouble doing his work and handing in his
homework. We had him tested and sure enough if had
attention deficit disorder. The medicine helped him
immensely as he seemed to stay more on task.
However, as it turned out he started smoking
cigarettes and had his first beer in 8th grade.
Dan was the oldest of his siblings. Brian was 18
months younger, Kelly 15 months younger than Brian
and Pat was 3 years younger than Kelly. They were
all close to Dan. He was the big brother and he
always looked out for them. Dan was very respectful
to us as well, even when he got caught at high
school for having marijuana. It was his freshman
year that he started acting out the most by not
coming home after school and making up stories about
where he was. After he got caught we decided along
with a therapist to send him to boarding school.
This seemed to be work out better for him because
the class sizes were small and he got a lot of
attention. The spring of his freshman semester he
went to an outdoor program called SUWS in Idaho. He
reluctantly agreed to go. Dan was there for 3 weeks
and when he came back the school noticed a positive
change in him. He was happier and completed his
work. Things were looking up.
When Dan returned for his sophomore year, he had a
roommate that was a drug user and Dan got more
involved in drugs. Unbeknownst to us, he started
using pills, LSD, alcohol and marijuana. Right
before the Christmas holidays, Bruce and I had to
withdraw him from the school because he was caught
with alcohol.
From there he went to Hyde for the rest of his
sophomore year and seemed to adjust and stopped
using drugs. Dan attended Hyde for his junior year
as well. His grades were good and we got to go on
some great vacations as a family during these years.
Bruce and I didn't think he was using drugs at all
and thought he matured quite a bit. We decided that
for his senior year he could return to Wilton High
School and be at home.
Dan struggled in his senior year and ended up going
to night school. We thought he was smoking marijuana
but had no proof. He would deny it. He was working
and was going to school. Dan graduated and was very
proud that he received his diploma. He decided to
wait before attending college and got a job full
time.
In June, 2003 my neighbor whose son was good friends
with Dan had the courage to speak to me about her
son. She invited me over and told me her son was
using heroin and hoped that Dan wasn't involved but
had to let me know in case he was. The next day Dan
started getting sick and I immediately took him to
the emergency room and asked the doctor to drug test
him. I waited for the test results asking every 15
minutes. Dan was over 18 years old and the doctor
had the courage to speak to me and tell that it did
in fact come back positive for opiates and thought
that I should know. My husband and I finally had the
proof we needed to talk to Dan about treatment. We
talked to Dan and he agreed to go to rehab for help.
After being an outpatient for about a month he
started going to AA and NA meetings and met new
friends. Things were going well and he seemed like
his old self. It wasn't until Christmas night that
he didn't come home until the next day. Dan
apologized but looked like he was feeling guilty
about not telling us what was going on. About a week
later he was home and was clearly high and we told
him he had to go back to rehab. Dan agreed and went
to an inpatient rehab in upstate New York. He was
there for about 3 months. He went to a halfway house
and relapsed again. Agreeing to go back to rehab,
about a month later he asked if he could come home.
After writing a home contract and all of us agreeing
to it he came home. His brothers and sister were
thrilled. Dan was always close to them and us as
well. With all that Dan went through we could see he
truly loved his family and wanted to get rid of this
disease. After being home for 10 days, Dan thought
he could try it one more time. I found him that
morning on May 5, 2004 and will never forget the
horror of losing him to such a disease.
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